subliminalpropaganda

There is too much teenage angst in modern metal. It’s juvenile and banal and I’m weary of it. Metal used to be about being awesome and having fun. When it did deal with serious issues like war, it was taken seriously. Death is a common theme, but it’s never romanticized. These days metal is full of so much melancholy and woefulness Ronnie Dio is surely turning in his grave.

“WTF IS THIS SHIT?!”

Allow me to go through a brief history of metal. As amplifier technology improved over time, music could get louder. Guitarists began experimenting with feedback and drummers became more athletic and aggressive. Many would call Led Zeppelin one of the early pioneers of heavy metal. I wouldn’t disagree, but I would argue that the focus of their music was the marvelous blending of blues and rock and roll they became known for. In my opinion, what we know today as heavy metal really began with bands Black Sabbath and Judas Priest. These two bands, along with other acts like Motorhead, defined rock music in the 70s. They continued to rock into the 80s, which saw Metallica emerge as one of the greatest metal acts of all time. Things took a slight step backwards later in the decade when glam metal became popular. Bands like Twisted Sister and Motley Crue dominated the scene, but their music wasn’t completely terrible so they were forgiven.

Who can stay angry at a face like this?

The 90s is when things started to go wrong. It was as if metal contracted a virulent disease. Metallica put out a couple of good albums, but none of them were nearly as good as the albums Cliff Burton performed on. The late 90s saw the inception of “nu-metal”, also known as oh-god-why-are-you-pouring-sulphuric-acid-in-my-ears, bringing with it bands like Korn, Limp Bizmit, and Papa Roach. Fortunately, the genre burned itself out before too many people were seriously hurt.

But since the turn of the millennium, not much has come out in the way of quality metal. In fact, except for some honorable mentions like The Sword, the only metal band I’ve really liked in the past ten years is Mastodon. Seriously, Mastodon is amazing. They play their music not with guitars and drums but with fire and gasoline. They are thunder in a bottle, captured through the use of sheer artistic passion. If Thor, Beelzebub, Leonidas, and Darth Vader started a band, they would probably sound something like Mastodon.

Seriously. Fucking. Awesome.

You’re probably thinking “D00d you don’t know anything. There are currently plenty of great metal bands!” Ok, contrarian voice in my head. Let’s compare some classic sounds with what today is widely considered to be “metal.”

METAL

“Children of tomorrow live in the tears that fall today
Will the sun rise up tomorrow bringing peace in any way?
Must the world live in the shadow of atomic fear?
Can they win the fight for peace or will they disappear?

A poignant commentary on the horror of potential nuclear annihilation.

NOT METAL

No one can have their moments free from your withering touch
Fuck off, like your the only one who has ever cried or been broken by love.
Spare me your pity party, drunk off your own misfortunes.
Wallowing in your blissful melancholy.

This album is actually called “Suicide Notes and Butterfly Kisses”. I’m not kidding.

METAL

Soldier boy, made of clay
Now an empty shell
Twenty one, only son
but he served us well
Bred to kill, not to care
Do just as we say
Finished here, Greeting Death
He’s yours to take away
Back to the front

Another moving tale of the futility of war and the dehumanization of the soldiers who fight in them.

NOT METAL

Deeper I’m falling
Into the arms of sorrow
Blindly descending
Into the arms of sorrow

The lyrics pretty much repeat like that.

METAL

Fighting on with dignity
In life and death we deal
The power and the majesty
Amidst the blood and steel

Judas Priest is really my kind of metal. Their songs are full of over the top machismo, ranging in subjects from nobility and valor to just partying like in “Living After Midnight”. They don’t take themselves too seriously, which makes their songs so much fun to listen to.

NOT METAL

We like so much, the pain
We’re spoiling at the knife
Pretend that the picture is perfect
I cut myself to sleep
I close my eyes for a second
And meet the friendly soul
I scream to why I’m lonely

UUUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!!!!

METAL

This ivory leg is what propels me
Harpoons thrust in the sky
Aim directly for his crooked brow
And look him straight in the eye

A song about Captain Ahab’s obsessive quest for revenge. Classic.

NOT METAL

There’s always something to be going wrong
The path I walk’s in the wrong direction
There’s always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me make things better?

The path you need to walk on is the one towards the window, and you can make things better by throwing yourself out of it.

* * *

I still contend that Metallica is the greatest metal band in history, despite modern waning. Listening to any of the Cliff Burton albums is like taking a bath in Beluga caviar. It’s like doing doughnuts on the National Mall with a Bugatti just because you can. It’s rich, luxurious, and gratuitously amazing. When listening to Ride the Lightning I kiss my fingers like Italian chefs after preparing a delicious meal.

“Perfecto!”

So what happened between then and now? I don’t know for certain, but I can take a couple of guesses.

Part of it has to do with the state of the music industry today, best explicated in the documentary Before the Music Dies. The human DJ model of radio was abandoned long ago in favor of focus groups. Radio stations, or rather the corporations that own them, sample a variety of music to small groups of volunteers who then rate the songs on how enjoyable they were. In this way, radio stations think they know what the people want to listen to, and thus, what kind of music will attract the greatest number of listeners. They treat music like it’s a retail product to be sold to the masses. Unfortunately, the masses are pretty stupid. Jersey Shore gets higher ratings than any news or information program on television.

Another reason could be that history always remembers the greats. There were probably a ton of shitty bands that came, went, and were forgotten simply because they were all forgettable. Memory only serves the talented which gives us the illusion that music in the past was much better than music in the present day. I hope that time, or Alzheimer’s, will winnow the chaff, and we’ll forget all of this unpleasantness and look back on this period with fondness.

In conclusion, drop tuning and growling is not being metal, and if you’re still confused just remember:

METAL

NOT METAL

In memory of Ronnie James Dio.